Delicate Flower

Wrenching at my guts. Making my fingers cold. Making my heart pound. Makes functioning impossible.

I hope. My faith is really being tested. They never even asked for my side of the story, just believed the liar. Just like before. Someone better listen this time.

That's what i was told to do after the breakup of my family, of my long loving marriage, of my dream, my plan, to grow old with the father of my children. Just get over it. And that is what I have learned to do. Just get over it. I wonder if I have ever hurt any men in the 14 years since my divorce. I have felt that men didn't have feelings, that they only existed to hurt women, after what my ex husband and his wife put me through, after the losses I was expected to "just get over." I have become maybe too good, at just shutting down, shutting off emotions, because they were too much to bear all the time anyway.

I have to write it out for my lawyer anyway, so: Around Christmas, my son Bryce and his gf suggested that their friend Justin move in and rent a room from me. In a few days he was moved in, love-bombing me, fixing things around the house, texting me every day, long talks, movies, etc. After about a week and a half he started drinking a lot more and having violent mood swings. His wife had a no contact order against him and he said she had "stolen" his house. He told me about things like, getting beat up by IFPD outside of a bar, then began coming home telling me about drunken fights he had just been in, including one that gave him a large lump on the back of his head that was causing him a lot of pain. There was an incident where I was drinking (I have only drank 3 times in the last 6 months, fyi) and we had sex and then he said i had "made him," so I called the police and asked them to remove him from my home. They told us that he was a "legal tenant" aft...

About ICE? I don't personally know of anyone who has been detained by ICE. The media plays both sides.

But i decided to tell you anyway. The tarot card readers kept saying 2 numbers over and over. 8 and 10. Heavy on the 8s and "but 8 is also the infinity symbol." His birthday is 8/10/88. When he told me I was like, "Of course it is." ha. He was supposed to be an earth sign. He is an Earth DRAGON, and a fire sign. I am a Fire Dragon Earth sign. We are so much alike it's scary. We know all the same movies and music. So funny. I used to say there were 3 things I needed to like about a man: his voice, his smell, his hands. 3 for 3. I especially love his laugh. I love that he laughs at all the dumb stuff I do.